Scars
by tooOTPtofunction
Summary: A day at the beach brings up something Elphaba wishes she could forget, but finally finds a way to deal with it (: Fiyeraba, Bessa, and Galinda (: R&R! ***Rated for a mention of self harm


**I own nothing **

**I know it isn't really like Elphaba to do this but l like the idea. **

* * *

It was the sound of the wheel bouncing on the pavement that stirred her awake. Elphaba opened her eyes to find her head resting on Fiyero's shoulder, she looked up at him to find him smiling at her. Blushing slightly she looked across from her to find Galinda sitting with Nessa and Boq, the blonde enthralling them with how her most recent date with a boy from her Politics class went. The green girl found the strength to sit up and was immediately drawn into the prince's arms.

"Well good morning sleepyhead. Did you have a nice nap?" Fiyero asked her. His response was an icy glare and he laughed, kissing her nose.

"I still can't believe you talked me into this." Elphaba said as the carriage continued down the road.

"Come on Fae, it's the first nice day in weeks! It'll be fun!" Fiyero told her as he pulled her closer to him.

"Maybe, but I'm not really a beach person." Elphaba said quietly. Fiyero was offset a bit by the sudden change in her voice but didn't press it.

"It'll be fun, I promise." He told her as she burrowed deeper into him, resting a cheek against his chest.

Sighing softly, Elphaba felt her frown deepen even further. In all reality, she was looking forward to spending time with her friends, especially Fiyero who had confessed his feelings for her a few days after the Lion Cub incident. She smiled, remembering his nervous confession and the sweet kiss they shared that cemented their love for each other.

She just didn't like that they were going to a beach; Elphaba liked swimming and reading on the sand, but she didn't like undressing in front of everyone. She had some things that she hadn't told her friends yet, some things that not even Nessa knew and if she couldn't find a way to avoid going into the water, they would be revealed. The green girl pulled away from Fiyero's embrace and backed into the end of the carriage seat. The prince, who was talking to Boq, Galinda and Nessa, didn't really notice. Elphaba brought both her hands up to her upper arms, rubbing them slightly over her shirt, grateful for this rare moment of solitude. They were the parts of her that she was embarrassed to show, the parts of her that would show off her one weakness and show her completely vulnerable.

Growing up in the Governor's mansion was not easy for the green girl. It was the understatement of the century to say that her father disliked her - he absolutely despised his eldest daughter, often treating her like a servant and a disease rather than his own child. Elphaba, being the strong young woman she is, was able to ignore Frex's constant insults and snaps most of the time. But unfortunately, there were times when the green girl was just not strong enough to push away what her father would call her, when she couldn't block out the awful insults he would hurl at her from the moment she got out of bed and when Nessa's declaration of sisterly love for 'her Fabala' was not enough to stop their father's voice from ringing in her brain.

Closing her eyes and feeling the tears sting, Elphaba remembered one too many times when she had locked the door to her room and went to a drawer to pull out a small, rectangular box. Crying her eyes out on her bed, the young sorceress would open the box to find various sharp objects to choose from, a pointy sewing needle or a razor blade being among the two. Squeezing her eyes tight to make sure no tears came out for friends to see, Elphaba remembered a particular time when she took out the pocket knife she had stashed in there. The girl would roll up the sleeves of her dress to her shoulders and look away before connecting the point of the instrument with the green skin of her upper forearm, desperate to relieve the pain she felt but also doing it in a place where no one would know they were there, especially her father.

These instances became much too frequent before Elphaba finally put all the instruments back where she had found them years ago. She used to tell herself, 'If I'm going to make it anywhere in life, I'm going to need to learn to take people's opinions'. She figured her father was the worst she would possibly face and she would have to just learn to deal with it, and if she could do that, everything else would be that much easier. Even though she had passed the phase of actually cutting the skin, the scars were still very much present, serving as a constant reminder of weakness to the green girl - which she despised.

Nobody knew that the scars were there, not even Nessa. Elphaba had planned to keep it that way until she was ready to tell everyone but Fiyero's sweet talking her into a beach trip clouded her judgement and, involuntarily, made that day this particular one. Bringing her hands down to her lap, Elphaba looked around at her friends and then turned to look at Fiyero.

_Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe they'll understand. Nessa probably will. I just hate showing weakness _Elphaba thought to herself as their conversation came to a close. Looking over at her, Fiyero brought her back into his arms and Galinda squealed lightly.

"Oh Elphie! The beach is going to be so much fun!" The blonde said happily, blonde curls bouncing up and down as she jumped in her seat.

"Yeah, fun..." Elphaba said with a small voice, one hand unconsciously drifting up to graze her upper arm before she stopped herself. Fiyero noticed the movement and had a puzzled look on his face.

"Fae? Are you alright?" Fiyero asked her worriedly.

"I've been wondering that too Fabala, you've been awfully quiet this carriage ride." Nessa told her sister. The entire carriage was looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"I'm fine. Probably still a little tired. Look at that we're here." Elphaba said quickly as the carriage pulled to a stop and she jumped out and helped Nessa out and into her chair, completely ignoring Galinda's cries about proper etiquette.

_Close one. Just don't go swimming_. Elphaba thought to herself, her fear of being vulnerable coming back into play. She was brought out of her little worried bubble by Fiyero wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her to his side.

"Come on guys, there's a great spot over there!" Boq said while pushing Nessa as he led the group to a clearing in the semi-empty beach and they put their belongings down and took in some sun. The day had been going smoothly so far and Elphaba was completely content to be exactly as they were now until,

"Let's go in the water!" Galinda said as she stood up and started undressing to show a bright pink bathing suit underneath.

"That's a great idea! Let's get going. Do you want to swim Nessa?" Boq asked the wheelchair bound girl and she nodded with a smile. Helping her out of her chair, Boq carried her bridal style to the water with Galinda running by their side.

"Do you want to swim Fae?" Fiyero asked her as he sat up.

"Not right now. Go on ahead, I'll be there soon." Elphaba lied with a shaky smile. The prince kissed her softly before going to meet up with the others.

She sat and watched the group, laughing, splashing, having a blast in the water and wished that she could go in there as effortlessly as they did and just swim. As if on cue, the scars started to sting a bit, reminding the green girl exactly why she couldn't. Picking up her book, she started to read. After an hour or so, the group finally returned from the water.

"Elphie! You never came!" Galinda scolded her best friend as Boq placed Nessa back into her chair.

"Yeah, Fae! You said you were going to come soon, but you never did." Fiyero told her.

"Sorry guys, I guess I just got lost in this book." Elphaba said with a shaky laugh and Nessa's eyebrow quirked slightly.

"Fabala, what's going on?" The wheelchair bound girl asked her older sister.

"Nothing is going on. I just got distracted is all." Elphaba said, looking down as Galinda came to sit next to her.

"Well I'm dying to see what your bathing suit looks like anyway Elphie! Lemme see..." Galinda said as she pulled off the shirt Elphaba had on over her bathing suit. At the sight that greeted her, the blonde's eyes went wide, as well as eliciting a gasp from the rest of the group.

"Give me that! There you saw, happy?" Elphaba said quickly as she put the shirt back on.

"Fae, what are those?" Fiyero asked softly.

"Nothing." Elphaba said quietly, hugging herself, bringing her knees to her chest.

"Those aren't nothing Fabala, now what are they?" Nessa said seriously. "Fiyero, Galinda, get that shirt off of her again." Nessa continued when Elphaba didn't answer. Fiyero and Galinda did what was asked of them despite protests from the green girl. Nessa brushed her arm over the scars on her sister's arms and had tears in her eyes.

"Fabala...did you do these to yourself?" Nessa asked quietly and Elphaba let her tears fall.

"Well..." The green girl looked around and saw everyone's sad faces looking at her and felt horrible. "You try living with some of the things father says!" She screamed as she continued to cry.

"Oh Fae...it's alright. It's over now. Shh, it's alright." Fiyero soothed her as she cried,pulling her close, rubbing circles on her back.

"No! It's not! I'm supposed to be stronger than this! I should've never let any of the things he said get to me, just adding on one more thing wrong with me, one more abnormality..."Elphaba screamed as she pulled away from him.

"Elphie, you don't have to be strong all the time. It's okay to be weak every now and then. And there is nothing wrong with you, nothing at all. Do you understand?" Galinda told her best friend with a hug and Elphaba nodded.

"Yeah, I mean I've seen the way your father treats you and the way he speaks to you and you wouldn't be human if you didn't break down every once in a while." Boq reassured her with a smile which Elphaba shakily returned as she was still sobbing lightly.

"Fae, you don't still..." Fiyero asked her, eyes watery, brushing a hand over her scars.

"Oh no. I stopped a long time ago." She said and everyone let out a breath.

"I'm so sorry he treated you so badly that you felt you had to do this Elphaba..."Nessa said shakily and Elphaba leaned up to hug her sister.

"It's alright Nessie, if anything it's made me stronger. I just didn't want you guys to see them yet. They're not some of my proudest moments. I hated being weak and these are reminders." Elphaba said and Galinda huffed.

"Elphaba Melena Thropp! You stop that right now! Breaking down is a normal human function, everyone does it. You never have to be shy about showing us anything, happy or sad. We are here for you, you know that." The blonde said, grasping Elphaba's hand. Fiyero pulled the green girl to him and planted a kiss to the top of her head, she looked up at him and smiled.

"Do you want to go swimming now?" Fiyero asked her playfully and Elphaba smiled and nodded. Fiyero helped her to her feet as the rest off the group made their way to the water again. Stopping her before she could walk ahead, Fiyero pulled her close and claimed her lips in a kiss that deepened by the second. They pulled apart, both breathless, and looked at each other, smiling.

"She's right you know, you can tell us, me, anything. We care about you Fae. I care about you. I love you and I want you to share what you're feeling with me okay? You are not, nor will you ever be weak, alright?" The prince said and she smiled before he kissed her softly. "Now let's go have some fun!" He said cheerfully as he led her to the water. Elphaba felt a million times better, truly being happy with her friends, all the while knowing that she was with the one man she loved more than anything and that he loved her just the same. She couldn't help but smile as she felt the sting from her scars fade away.

_Maybe that part of my life is over._ she thought with a smile.

Finally.


End file.
